Friday, November 14, 2008

Flipside: There's no way Florida should be ranked No. 19

Everyone knows preseason polls are a crap shoot, and it’s been debated many times over whether they should even be done.

But let’s assume they have point.

(Yes, this is kind of like when your wife says, OK let’s assume you have a point, so she can just yell at you for something else and then go back and say the assumption is all wrong).

I’m just here to tell you Florida men’s basketball team should not be ranked No. 19. The Gators are not the 19th-best team in the country. They’re not now, they won’t be midseason, and come March, they’ll be fighting for a NCAA Tournament berth.

To prove this to you, let me show you some examples of things that are No. 19.

Heading into this weekend’s games, the Florida State football team are No. 19 in the USA Today/Coaches' poll. At 7-2, the Seminoles have been a welcome surprise on the field, although they have struggled in conference play a bit. While hard for Gators fans to hear, the Florida State football team deserves more praise than the Florida men's hoops team. They're better.

But see this goes beyond sports. Ali Larter is No. 19 on FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women of 2008. Let’s just say Florida men’s basketball team does not get me excited the way the 32-year-old’s character – an Internet stripper with multiple personality disorder (what makes her unique?) and super strength – does.

In fact people believed her impersonation in Esquire of an imaginary budding celebrity. Maybe for her next act, she’ll pretend to be my girlfriend. Hey, a man can dream, right?

But if you want an excuse of how things could go wrong in polls, Britney Spears was ranked No. 19 in Maxim’s Top 100 this year. Let’s see: Spears started out on the Mickey Mouse Club and then later hit rock bottom and is now staggering to make a late comeback, although things might not be able to be saved.

It’s OK though, Billy D can probably relate to the situation. A soft schedule allowed Florida to start strong, the Gators later struggled, and then Donovan locked his team out of its gym to right the ship. Now everyone thinks all is well.

To recap: The Gators want to be like the hot girl on Heroes, not the has-been pop teen singer.

Girls really do always get the final word.

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