Wednesday, March 18, 2009

You will never see a wall as strong as this wall

The Heavener football complex outside The Swamp is now protected by the aura of Tim Tebow. I stumbled across this on my way through campus on Tuesday, and I had to look twice to make sure it was real. If I only had 10 seconds to explain to someone how out-of-control TebowHype has gotten, I'd just show them this.

UF has put a plaque up outside its new football facility (in the southwest corner of the stadium) honoring Tebow's speech after the Gators' 31-30 loss to Mississippi back in September (not mentioned on plaque). Tebow's heartfelt apology and promise may or may not have spurred Florida on to its ass-kicking run to a national championship, but if you listen to some people, it stacks right up to The Gettysburg Address as one of the greatest things ever said by anyone.

Does it strike anyone as odd that UF would erect a plaque like this for a player who still has another season left?

I'm becoming more and more convinced that before he leaves Gainesville, there will be little reminders of Tebow all around town, culminating in a giant, Touchdown Jesus-themed mural of him that will cover the tops of several buildings and be visible from space.

Here are a few other ideas I came up with for UF to leave Tebow kiss marks all over town:

1. Place eye-black strips on all campus statues emblazoned with Philippians 4:13, the Bible verse Tebow wears on his face during games.
2. Re-engineer the UF campus layout to spell out "TEBOW" from an aerial view. I'm pretty sure a Virginia Tech grad who designed some buildings at the University of Virginia spelled out "VT" with his work, so it can be done.
3. Plot a jogging trail through Gainesville with a commemorative stone representing each touchdown Tebow accounted for in his UF career. Space them out the number of yards that each score covered.
4. Have that trail end in the soon-to-be-constructed on-campus cemetery, where this awaits on the ceiling.
5. Open a Filipino restaurant on campus. All meals will be delivered by employees jump-passing the food to customers across the counter.
6. Campus police will trade in their Tazers for Tebow-themed punishment utensils, such as a night stick with an extendable replica of Tebow's arm that fires out at the push of a button to mimic a Tebow stiff-arm.
7. All TVs on campus will show the following two clips on a 24-hour loop: Clip 1, Clip 2

Got any ideas?


  1. Great post!

  2. really insightful and well thought out ideas.
    you need to find a hobby.

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